Cleaning

I'm finally at a place in life where I can try to establish some sort of cleaning routine. I need to be able to say, "I'm done" at some point each day, instead of feeling the pressure to do it all, all of the time. This is not a new idea, it's something I always want, but put off since I usually just barely keep my head above water, then clean like crazy if someone is coming over. Not ideal, but life comes at ya fast! I have been thinking about this all weekend and how the last time I had a routine was when I had one immobile baby. Today, as I was cleaning my bathroom (yes, it's mine, Matt just has privileges), it hit me that that was FOUR YEARS ago. FOUR YEARS! I stared at myself in the mirror and shared a shocked look with my reflection. That's as long as college! No wonder I feel crazy all of the time! Traveling, hosting, traveling, moving, traveling, moving, hosting, traveling. My life is passing by way too quickly. I have felt at least one step behind since we decided to move to New York, but now I'm not going anywhere for a while, don't have any huge plans, and I'm not moving in or getting ready to move out (yet). Soooo, time to get things in order to have more time for fun.

Other random ramblings: Matt made the cruel, cruel suggestion of just doing diagnostic radiology from home so that we could live in Tahoe, then immediately said, "but that's not what I really want." UGH. Mean, mean, mean. Now I have this thought in my head of becoming an awesome snowboarder and Matt and I going, like, every day while the kids are at school during the winter and then do...boat things during summer. How awesome would that be? Sigh, I guess we'll just have to visit instead. Mean, mean, mean.

Hard Day

So, today I went down the wrong aisle at the "other Target" and found myself facing newborn clothes and cute tiny things. I try to avoid that section, but since I still need toddler items, it's hard to skip it entirely. Sometimes, like today, I can't help but think about Emily, how big she would be now and how close we would be to the due date. I'm sure I'd be nesting and getting everything together. I'd be feeling her inside of me and getting to know her better. I still get my baby center bulletins for this pregnancy; I can't bring myself to cancel them. Today the geneticist's report came in the mail, confirming that there were no known problems and that she was a girl. All I can think about is my baby...I wish she were here.

Gotta go get Lizzie from speech.